Watching the tele with me wife has turned me on to an alarming concept: Everything is Dawson’s Creek.
Lemme splain it to you Lucy:
Jericho: Dawson’s Creek with a nuke
Wildfire: Dawson’s Creek with a horse
Greek: Dawson’s Creek on a college campus
Kinda scary no?
I’m back yo! I just spent a wacky six months on hiatus with the lost passengers from Oceanic Flight 815. I’ve been doing everything from bathroom remodeling, to Jeep restoration (that’s done too! whew) to client switches, galore!
I like that word “galore.” Galore, galore galore…. mmmm…
Anyway….
Life is much better these days for the Funny Bunny. Like I said before, the Jeep is now up and running. Though it is not running too well. I came up with a few riffs for some snazzy new songs that may never get written. All a very Hum/Sigur Ros/Catherine Wheel stare-at-your-shoes variety, but I only care about my own tastes thank you very much. The job is getting better as I now have more support from within the entity itself.
Maybe I’ll blog more frequently… Or maybe I’ll see you in October. Who knows.
Lots of life altering events have happened in recent months. More info to follow. Unfortunately, nothing like a new mutant power or millions under a floorboard.
Today, as if by magic… or an accident, I discovered the true depth of my gas tank. It is 23.353 gallons. I also discovered that when the needle hits “E”, I can go close to 30 miles.
“Nappy Haired Ho’s” – Last used: High school?
Hurricanes might hit land this year. Can you believe that? Sounds like pure science fiction to me. What next? The earth shaking violently? Phbbbt!
I found this article on MSN.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17913669/
My only response is this: I want to use that thing for a hat! I would be the coolest!
Blogs are designed to bring feelings of meaning to the meaningless. Therefore, I’m going to start today to be more meaningless. So if you are here for meaning, in search of truth, or value, stick around. You obviously aren’t good at reading comprehension either. Not to worry… Neither am I.
WTFL is designed to be probably a one shot article, but hey… miracles happen.
<mindless ranting>
There are soooo many things this state is good, like crawfish, an endless supply of hot ladies and plenty of mud to keep the Jeep community happy. Consequently there are (soooo many things)2 that we pretty much suck at. Let us start the bidding on the first item up for bid:
Roads.
If our cars could talk, aside from being just plain amazing, what would they tell us? Would the class of car have an attitude that reflected the social class of people that drive it? Would a 1965 Rolls Royce be all hoity-toity vs. a 1985 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme spouting out rap lyrics and calling me “honky?” Would my Jeep say “brah” and “dude” all the time?
For the Louisianians, i submit that all cars would be yelling “OOOOOOOOOOOWWWWW!”, or “Why the hell are you doing this to me?” and the ever popular “Oh! Sunuva…” constantly. Think of it. Potholes, assphault waves, and those fun, rhythmic angular sections of road that go “clip clop – clip clop – clip clop.”
My alignment needs to be checked every three months. I can’t drive down the road and enjoy a hot cup of coffee. I can’t ride to Houston in the back of an extended Ford van without my head constantly slamming into the ceiling. Texas, your roads suck from Orange to Baytown, so don’t let me hear it. At least you are working on it, but geez… finish a project before you add onto it.
Here’s another one. New homes are on the rise. So much on the rise that I can’t roll down any major traffic artery without seeing a sign for some new cottage home or 400 house neighborhood. All being fed by man’s greatest technological achievement, the 2 lane road. We can’t use our roads already due to the fact that everyone decides that NOW is the best time to go to Home Depot or Wal-mart. Our solution? Widen them? Oh hells no… why not put more people on them.
For the record, that’s like trying to unclog my toilet by eating Taco Bell and a few oatmeal cookies.
This state is getting a sum of money larger than Scrooge McDuck’s vault, and where is it going? I pay a truckload of taxes. Where’s my [WARNING: Uffman Term Incoming] ROI?
</mindless ranting>
For those of you who made it this far… Congratulations. Did you find your meaning? Or waldo? Oh, he’s there… he’s there.
Yes, by popular non-existing demand! I am re-re-re-resurrecting the old tradition! Merry freakin Friday!
